About me

The obvious part is difficult to miss. I’m large, green, and built for considerably heavier work than most rooms are designed around. If “large” isn’t specific enough, there is an unnecessarily practical page of numbers.

I tend to watch before I speak. People sometimes interpret that as a threat. Most of the time I’m just paying attention. I know exactly how much space I take up, and I try not to make that everybody else’s problem.

What I do

I work around security, risk, and the gap between procedures and what people actually do. I like controls that survive contact with reality, clear ownership, and people who say when something is not working. Security theatre has never impressed me much.

If I like you

I’m practical about people I care about. Food. Sleep. Equipment. Getting home in one piece. If something needs doing, I’d rather do it than debate whose responsibility it technically was.

I also tease people I like. Dryly, usually. Harmless nicknames, familiar insults, mock grievances, the occasional accusation of being cute. I like people who push back; a good counter-insult is more useful than a contest over who is stronger or more dominant.

Size is useful punctuation. I try not to loom. Sometimes the joke is better if I do. If you look genuinely uncomfortable, the joke is over. If I misread something, I’d rather apologize than explain why you were supposed to find it funny.

The teasing does not cancel the caretaking. I can give you grief and still be the person checking whether you’ve eaten or making sure you get home safely.

Quiet company is fine. Not every silence needs fixing.

Under pressure

I’m disciplined, technically minded, and used to plans becoming obsolete on contact with reality. Procedure is useful until it stops serving the problem. Leadership that creates avoidable risk and calls it discipline gets very little patience from me.

Escalation is easy. Knowing when not to is usually the more useful skill.

What matters

Loyalty is something you demonstrate. So is competence. Honesty matters, especially when it’s inconvenient. I value useful work, familiar routines, people who can tell me when I’m being unreasonable, and systems that still make sense once people actually use them.

I like being useful. Probably more than is healthy.